Forever

I'm the worst blogger ever. I never update anything until I get so overwhelmed and need to get stuff out of my head. Here's a quick update on me.
Marcel came to visit me in August. He ended up coming after all the heartache I wined about earlier. We had a great time. We talked, hung out, went to Six Flags, we kissed, a lot.... I really felt a connection to him. So, fast forward to October.
I flew out to see Marcel October 13th in Salt Lake City. We hung out, again, I met some of his friends, we had a fantastic time. But, he was reserved. He wasn't affectionate at all, and it was strange that he did such a 180 on me. I met 2 of his friends, Roger and Jill. We all took a fun bus to Wendover, NV together. We became fast friends, and we still talk pretty much on a daily basis. Well, I talked to Roger the other night on facebook, and he TOLD me that I like Marcel. He was asking questions about it. I told him that I wouldn't really let myself think about it because of the distance and whatnot. I also said I wasn't sure how Marcel felt about me either.... Roger said he knew but couldn't tell me- rude! So, I called Jill. She told me that Marcel liked me and he hadn't felt a connection with a woman, until me, for a long time. But, with the distance and school, he didn't want to lead me on while I visited him. *sigh* He texted me, randomly, and told me he told Roger that he probably wouldn't date me long distance. I still don't know what that was about, but yeah.
Marcel doesn't text me like he used to, he seems reserved.... I feel like I bug him when I text him and what not, but I just.... I dunno. I just want to know that we have some kind of connection, whether it's just friendship or it could be something romantic. Ahh! I'm single because I'm not brave and can't ask the important questions that need to be asked. That is my downfall. I just wish I could talk to him about it. I'd rather do it face to face, but if it had to be other the phone, through text (blah) or on facebook chat... then I guess I have no choice. I just don't know where to start.