*Sigh*

And the usual happens to me again. I don't know why I act surprised when these things happen, but my heart starts to hurt, and I really feel alone.
I was talking to Marcel on facebook tonight, and we were flirting and what not, and he was telling me that he was going to go cuddle with his Stephanie blow up doll and watch a movie. I asked if the doll had big "reasons" (which is what we call my boobs, lol) and he said "so so". I said, "mine are worth waiting for" and he said, "oh yeah? why's that?" and I said, "because they are mine, and I'm worth the wait". Then he comes back to say:
"honestly....I JUST got out of a long distance relationship....and i'm NOT ready for another one. she lived in california.you seem FANTASTIC and i believe that you ARE worth the wait :)"
Of course I say I understand and that long distance relationships are very hard.
We have a few little jokey comments after this, and then he says he's going to go watch his movie and he says, "k....i'm takin off hun...you're great! have a very wonderful night!! :D"

I know there was no possibility of us getting together, but I, of course, let my mind wonder to the "what ifs" and I started to think about a life with him. This is why I'm single. I jump ahead a gazillion dates when the guy hasn't even asked me out AND lives in a COMPLETELY different state. I'm just a hopeless romantic in a way I guess. I just want to curl up and cry. I'm sad and pathetic.

My "wedding" in Vegas

I just got back from Vegas today. I went with a girlfriend from work. I ended up meeting up with a friend of mine, Marcel, that I have known since 7th grade. We were friends through junior high, and the last time we saw each other was 9th grade, 12 years ago!
So... Marcel was going to Vegas to see his parents and celebrate his 27th birthday. We decided to meet up and make up for loss time. We had a fantastic time. He lives in Salt Lake City. He's still going to school, he's really smart, cute, fun, funny... etc all the good things. He told me that he had a huge crush on me in Junior High- which I thought was too sweet. We started talking and joking around, and then some how... we decided it would be funny to play a prank on all our friends from Germany and say we got married in Vegas. So, we went to the Little White Wedding Chapel. We took all the pictures, kissed.... it was great.
But, now I'm finding myself really having some feelings for him. I know we're not really married. I know he lives far away and we have completely separate lives... but the romantic in me would LOVE for his to be it. For him to finish school, move out to Texas.... get a job here. Move into my house..... I know this isn't going to happen. But, just like everything else in my life, nothing goes as I wish it would.
It's probably cause I'm lonely and all that junk... but I do have a genuine crush on him. *sigh* I dunno what else to say. I wish I could put the wedding pictures on here.
Ok. I don't know what else to say. I'm kinda sad.